Going on a first date is easy, right? Well, it should be, based on what your friends have told you. All you have to do, they’ve said, is be yourself. In fact, you may have even been told that all you actually have to do is just show up and everything will unfold perfectly. Trouble is, you’re feeling nervous and unsure. You really like this guy and you don’t want to blow it.
The trick to enjoying your first date is confidence, and the way to feel confident is to be fully prepared.
Here, then, are 10 ways to be cool, calm, and collected during your first date:
1. Calm down. One reason you may be nervous is because you imagine he wants to be with someone that you have to pretend to be. Does he want someone witty? Does he want someone smart? Does he want someone alluring? Realize that all these roles are all just your own constructs. More importantly, a future relationship will only work out if he wants you to be just the way you are.
2. Be graceful. You show grace when you are respectful and present. Respectful means demonstrating social etiquette. Show up on time, be nice to the waitstaff, and pay attention to your date. Staying present means becoming a good listener. If you talk a lot when you’re nervous, you’re not present. Respond to the moment rather than your inner uncertainty.
3. Don’t bring your friends with you. Be sure to turn off or mute your smartphone. You don’t need to respond to tweets or scan your Facebook page while you’re on your date. In fact, you probably don’t need to make or answer any calls at this time either. The quickest way to make him feel awkward and grumpy is to tune him out.
4. Let him take the lead. Let him pay if he wants, or split the bill if he wants. It doesn’t really matter at this point. Similarly, let him follow up with the next date if things worked out well. You can sort out gender roles at a later point in time. For now, use a traditional approach as the rules are a little less murky.
5. Avoid hemming and hawing. It’s only too easy to be indecisive and ask him what he thinks when it comes to making small decisions. It’s much more attractive to know what you want and have no hesitation asking for it.
6. Don’t pretend to be perfect. Perfection is a fantasy, and there are no clear rules on what is perfect and what is awkward. Is talking too much imperfect? Is apologizing for a blunder, a sign of weakness? Is your mind going blank when he asks you the name of your dog, a sign of early onset dementia? Perfection is a myth, and you should forget all about trying to measure up to some imaginary standard. It will make you appear stiff and awkward. Just be natural, not self-conscious.
7. Don’t make it an interview. This is only the first date. Avoid interviewing him for marriage, asking him about whether he likes children, plans on building a career, or has bad habits that will drive you nuts. The purpose of a first date is to see if there is a connection. There will be other dates when you can ask the deeper questions. If he is over-eager about crossing physical boundaries, be firm. Passionate kissing, petting, or even sex on a first date is not a good idea.
8. Wear gorgeous hair. This will do wonders for your self-esteem. If your hair is limp or unwashed, you will feel a little less self-assured. Using the IN BLU Hair Styling System, you can spray, activate, style, and shine your hair to get the right look for you. Depending on your type of hair, you can opt for the sleek and shiny look, the full body and volume look, or the curly and wavy look.
9. Make your skin glow. If you don’t have product that works for you, experiment with an herbal approach. Debolina in an article entitled 15 Herbal Beauty Tips For Glowing Skin suggests a sandalwood, turmeric and milk base. She says, “Make a fine paste of sandalwood powder, a little turmeric powder and milk. Apply this on face, leave on for a few minutes, and get natural glow and freshness.”
10. Dress for the occasion. Besides taking care of your hair and skin, dressing up will do wonders for your sense of poise and self-assurance. Pick something that makes you look good and feel good. Don’t overdo it, wearing heels on a picnic or sheer clothes on a cold night. Instead, strike a balance between practicality and elegance.